i am a sord lol

Life's been kinda kicking my ass, a lot, and I don't want to go on just not giving any sign that I'm alive to the three whole people who don't hear me whinge constantly.

Suffice to say, I've been in a slump, but that doesn't mean I haven't been doing anything - on the contrary, it means I've basically been losing myself for hours at a time every night grinding against Lufia 2's Ancient Cave again. That one will probably get a bigger write-up than the new things.

Speaking of new things! I got a few games from a Dollar Store Bargain Bin, and one I snagged on the ultra-cheap off the 3DS Eshop, soooo...

Code Name: S.T.E.A.M.

The first thing that surprised me about this was that it was made by Intelligent Systems. You know, the Fire Emblem/Paper Mario guys. The second thing that surprised me is that it's more or less like a Steampunk Valkyria Chronicles, right down to being an alternate history - though instead of being based in NotSwitzerland, instead you're serving under Steampunk Abe Lincoln, who is voiced by Wil Wheaton and pilots a giant mecha version of himself. Somehow it apparently tanked like crazy, despite being made by a great company, being similar to a great game, and having the Japanese subtitle "Lincoln Vs. Aliens".

I would buy a game named Lincoln Vs Aliens, wouldn't you?

Absolutely get this on the cheap, if you can. This was five bucks for me and totally worth it.


Tappingo

This sure is a "color the squares" puzzle game. This one's unique gimmick is that each colored square has a number that equals how many extra squares of the same color need to be attached to it. When you swipe in a direction (yeah, sorry, touch-screen only), the squares start filling with that color.... and only stop when they hit another filled square or the edge of the grid.

Thus, it's less about figuring out WHERE you need to place objects, but WHAT ORDER you need to do things in, oddly similar to untangling a knot.

It's definitely different than the usual Picross and Linkapix I've been doing recently, and is a nice breath of fresh air. It's pretty cheap, too, I think it was two bucks on sale.



Also obtained recently but unplayed: Chibi-Robo Zip Lash (bargain bin), Overfell (free chrono.gg game).

I'll be better later I suppose but for now, mmmbleh.

people whose opinions i sincerely care about: 5, maybe 6
number of those people who are offline relationships: 2
number of people who will see my blog posts without me blatantly linking them: 1 if i'm disgustingly lucky

number of friends/contacts on LJ/DW: 9 on DW, 72 on LJ
number of those friends who i trust and feel i can talk to at any time: 2


so frustrate.

"There's plenty of ways for life to screw you over there, too."

hahahahahahaha FUCK YOU, baxil.

( my world is pain )
Disclaimer: I am not mad at you for realsies, Bax. But aaaaaaaauuuuuuggghhh my life.

on the road again, victory road is a giant pain in the ass~
( Nuzlocke fales )

Copypastaing AIM log. I'm not going to write this again.

(8:50:59 PM) Bahamut725: Let me paint you the scenario. We have very little food - we're down to ramen, pretty much, and that's -it- - and DeAnna's check, clearing at midnight... is exactly enough to keep our bills paid. Verizon wants $213, we're getting $215 because of whatever state milking her for child support.
(8:51:45 PM) Bahamut725: I get woken up, five minutes ago, to DeAnna arguing with her father because "I'm hungry. I need cigarettes. And Pepsi."
(8:51:50 PM) Bahamut725: Like a petulant five year old.
(8:52:20 PM) Bahamut725: Getting whiny and pissy because we weren't able to go to a PAWN SHOP today to try to get money. With things we don;t have available to pawn. On a Sunday, when pawn shops are closed.
(8:53:09 PM) bossgoji: (because clearly, throwing away your actual worthwhile possessions to get cigarettes is a smart decision)
(8:53:10 PM) Bahamut725: And I know the minute that DeAnna gets her paycheck, she is going to let this man walk all over her, because she thinks a corporation will be more lenient and understanding than him.
(8:54:04 PM) Bahamut725: In his world?
(8:54:15 PM) Bahamut725: Cigarettes > his needs > everything else in existance
(8:54:32 PM) bossgoji: Such is the way of an addict.
(8:54:41 PM) Bahamut725: If we had to murder someone, or rob a bank? His reply would be "about fuckin' time".
(8:55:10 PM) bossgoji: Nothing really matters to them except their next fix, honestly. I've seen it way too often, so believe me, sympathy is there.
(8:55:38 PM) Bahamut725: He's an addict who is currently OUR SOURCE OF INCOME, though.
(8:55:50 PM) Bahamut725: So any intervention is going to invariably shoot us in the foot.
(8:56:06 PM) Bahamut725: (As opposed to the more longterm of the foot slowly rotting off and dying.)

Long story short: we have no food, barely enough money to get food IF we manage to somehow beg Verizon for every bit of lenience they can give - hahahahahhahah funny joke - and my father-in-law is begging us to throw shit away on cigarettes and Pepsi.

only reason i haven't started shooting people is because i don't have a gun, jfc.

it all started with a crc error on a torrent I was running.

Things snowballed, as they tend to on computers, and now it appears that my hard-drive is completely, irreversibly, 100% fubar'd. There might be more wrong. I don't know. It's a six-year-old computer, and I can't afford to get any replacement... well... anything.

I'm typing this from a public library computer; a computer which will only allow me one hour of usage per day. But at the same time, I don't know what else to do. Part of this is to let people know that I'm not going to be around for obvious reasons (my LJ RP hiatus notices will point here), and part of this is to do... well, the only thing I'm good at any more. Whining about how life keeps shitting on me, and begging for a reprieve somehow.

Money isn't going to help. Not really. Even if it did, I already pretty much exhausted what resources I have online to keep my net/phone/tv bill from defaulting.

I have... I would assume no credit, just because if I don't have NO credit, I'm sure to have NEGATIVE - the bills are in my name, after all, I have unpaid medical bills that went to creditors, and Paypal defaulted me on an $80 I can't pay or dispute.

I really have no way of getting out of this situation. If anyone can lend a hand with a computer of some sort, please... please, let me know.

Out of respect for my family, I'm gonna put any contact information under a F-Lock in the next post; if you sincerely are able to help, either reply here (so I can contact you when I am able) or ask one of my friends for help (I know for a fact bossgoji will at least be aware of this, and I'm sure there's others)

I'm sorry I have to keep doing this. I wish I knew why everything was just piling on me in the last two years.

quick bulleted list

• finances are for the moment taken care of; clothes are washed, cats are fed, bills are... paid as best they can be.
  
• the situation on DeAnna's dad continues to worry me; apparently the newest status that I've heard is "three blocked arteries" and as of yesterday he was in the ICU. Considering the precarious situation we're in, this is not Good Things.
  
• Still not finding any jobs because I don't like associating with slime, I guess. How the fuck is 8 years experience "Entry Level", you lying sacks of shit? Fuck online job-search sites.
  

• Doing the best I can to cope with frustration and feelings of powerlessness via LJRP, Picross 3D, and ponies.
  
• just a little under 25 hours left, fff.

Disappear.

These tacos are an eyesore.

These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos. These tacos.

There is little out there that is more depressing than having to work on Christmas.

Except for the fact that, even with that time that I'm getting paid time and a half, I may still end up, due to stress making me leave work early or be sent home several days this paycheck, not having enough to make rent this next week.

And the fact that everyone in my family is too poor to get holiday gifts for me, and as of such the only thing I obtained is Traffic. Anyone who knows me well enough knows WHY this is a terrible gift, and why the person giving it - who knows FULL WELL my stance on movies and bought it anyway - should be ashamed if they really DID think this was something I'd enjoy.

Fuck the holidays. Hope everyone else's Christmas is better than mine.

PROTIP: In order to get Sword to blow a bunch of money on something you want, here are the steps.

1) Make sure he has enough money to purchase what you want without severe hardship. "We will have to eat bologna sandwiches for the next month" is acceptable, "we will not have enough to pay rent" is not.

2) Get him frustrated AND depressed. Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart post-Thanksgiving is a good way to do this.

3) Make sure what you want is something one of you could justify as something HE would want as well. This is particularly effective if you're asking for a game when he just got done bitching about how the last game he played was too goddamn short.

Long story short, I am now be-Wii'd again. FC will be posted in the event that I actually /can/ connect to WFC. (Given that I can't connect with the DS, I suspect I would not be able to with the Wii, either)


EDIT: Due to a friend worrying about it, I want to just assure the rest of you guys -

(8:24:29 PM) swordianmaster: I got a windfall to the tune of $2300 recently, and we're in a situation as far as getting a new place that it's just a matter of waiting now
(8:31:30 PM) swordianmaster: My biggest problem now that I have the money to pay for the doctor to get my prozac prescrips?
(8:31:34 PM) swordianmaster: Is FINDING a doctor to do it :B
(8:31:56 PM) swordianmaster: Since I'm in a situation where I don't have a primary care physician