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Well, I've got a 10K loan pending. Kind of. I guess. I probably won't use all or even a portion of it, but I need SOME sort of cushion to get back on my feet; as it is, it feels like I'm plunging into a proverbial bottomless pit with no end in sight, financially.
Been thinking over the past week about something![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
eternalfire said to me years ago. About how people evolve, relationships evolve. Sometimes, that evolution drives people further apart. And... you know, it only took me five or six years to realize, but yeah, she's completely right. The friends I had back when I was getting out of high school and just starting to explore my place in the world... they aren't the same people I call my friends now. Some of them have just changed for the better or worse, but for the most part, the biggest change has been to me.
I don't hang out in #RPGCafe any more. I don't know why, or how it happened, but I just... distanced myself from it. Nowdays, I spend more of my time with the BOTVGH crew, or on the SA forums, or RPing on Livejournal. I still consider myself a furry, I suppose, but... dear lord. The days where I could literally spend nine hours playing out an elaborate, emotional scene with someone... now that I have a daughter to take care of and a significant other demanding my time (typically for menial things, like 'can you do this' or 'okay I'm going to ramble on at length about American Idol even though you don't care') I can hardly get two hours at a time on, much less without interruption.
I still think about the #RPGCafe crew, and a fair number of them are still on my LJ friends list. But, I mean, I don't talk to them any more. I don't know if they miss me, but I do miss a fair number of them. The biggest problem... I don't miss who I was back then. I've grown, I've gotten better... I actually feel like a person now, albeit a rather unimpressive, obnoxious one. Did I have to get rid of one to get rid of the other? I don't know.
I'm really freaking sleepy. There's two ladies here looking through our Senior newsletter right up here at the front desk, rambling at each other in another language - I think it's Korean or Chinese - and I really wish I could just put my head on the desk and pass out. As nice as it is working two days a week, I really wish I could just be a stay-at-home-dad and kind of work "my own" hours... or rather, my daughter's.
Been thinking over the past week about something
eternalfire said to me years ago. About how people evolve, relationships evolve. Sometimes, that evolution drives people further apart. And... you know, it only took me five or six years to realize, but yeah, she's completely right. The friends I had back when I was getting out of high school and just starting to explore my place in the world... they aren't the same people I call my friends now. Some of them have just changed for the better or worse, but for the most part, the biggest change has been to me.I don't hang out in #RPGCafe any more. I don't know why, or how it happened, but I just... distanced myself from it. Nowdays, I spend more of my time with the BOTVGH crew, or on the SA forums, or RPing on Livejournal. I still consider myself a furry, I suppose, but... dear lord. The days where I could literally spend nine hours playing out an elaborate, emotional scene with someone... now that I have a daughter to take care of and a significant other demanding my time (typically for menial things, like 'can you do this' or 'okay I'm going to ramble on at length about American Idol even though you don't care') I can hardly get two hours at a time on, much less without interruption.
I still think about the #RPGCafe crew, and a fair number of them are still on my LJ friends list. But, I mean, I don't talk to them any more. I don't know if they miss me, but I do miss a fair number of them. The biggest problem... I don't miss who I was back then. I've grown, I've gotten better... I actually feel like a person now, albeit a rather unimpressive, obnoxious one. Did I have to get rid of one to get rid of the other? I don't know.
I'm really freaking sleepy. There's two ladies here looking through our Senior newsletter right up here at the front desk, rambling at each other in another language - I think it's Korean or Chinese - and I really wish I could just put my head on the desk and pass out. As nice as it is working two days a week, I really wish I could just be a stay-at-home-dad and kind of work "my own" hours... or rather, my daughter's.
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