52 IN 52: Shantae: Risky's Revenge cleared

That was... compact. Not precisely light on content, but short and consistently engaging. Full disclosure: I never actually played the original Shantae, and it really seems like the game's plot loves its callbacks; sure there's plenty of contextual information to figure out when and what's going on, but it still feels like opening a book halfway.

In a vacuum, though, Shantae is a crunchy little exploration platformer ("metroidvania" to those who like buzzwords, though sooner or later I'll use the longer, less buzzy term often enough I won't keep having to explain it) starring the bounciest pair of pixel boobs outside of a King of Fighters game. I Dream Of Jeannie aesthetic aside, it's simple enough to explain: you're a half-genie with magic hair and magic dances. Well, sort of. You get the magic dances later, they're your progression mechanic. Do the right dance (once you've earned it, of course) and you turn into a monkey that can climb walls, an elephant that can smash blocks, or a mermaid who can do exactly what you'd expect a mermaid to do.

And all of it's adorable. The spritework here is top notch. (If I could only say the same about the dialogue boxes, which look like they got cribbed straight from a mobile game, sans serif and all, or the dialogue portraits, which err a little close to the likes of Dust on the 'wonky anatomy' scale). It's easy to get a sense of what's going on where, and things are generally intuitive. If it looks like a platform, it probably is. Bottomless pits constantly radiate a fog of skull-and-crossbones to warn you that they're bad news. And so on, and so forth.

If I had any complaints, my biggest would be that the bosses (all...five? Six? of them) felt a bit... grindy. Most of them are damage sponges, and maybe there's some megaman-like system going on with the magic spells but I never found it. Instead, you just have to whip them with your hair approximately twenty bajillion times. Also, the map in-game is utter trash - a purchasable item that shows you a vague suggestion of the game's overworld and is of absolutely no help in dungeons or with item finding. You know, the things you would want a map in this sort of game for. Give me the Super Metroid/Fusion/Zero Mission map any day of the week, please.

All in all, a good game! Maybe not the best out there, but that whole pesky "continuity" thing makes me afraid of playing its sequel before I cleared it, and equally afraid of approaching Half-Genie Hero before playing that.

52 IN 52: I, Zombie cluuuuuhhhhhrrrrrrghhhhh

Hoooo boy. From all screenshots, this game looked like something in the vein of Infectonator. In a way, it is. You're a zombie, you make other zombies, those zombies can make other zombies, everything's good and fine!

This is a stealth game.

Don't let any tags or descriptions or genre classifications try to convince you otherwise. This is a stealth game.

I am fucking terrible at stealth games. It says a lot about how short this was that I didn't ragequit it, and about how forgiving it is, that I managed to even get 40+ of the 90 available "you did a good job" stars.

See, the thing about I, Zombie is that you, as a zombie, are theoretically able to shrug off damage. You regenerate health at a decent clip, as do all of the other shambling undead. The problem is, you can take about four shots to the face before you're dead. The more damaged you are, the slower you move, so it's a circumstance where one mistake makes it less possible to recover from subsequent mistakes. Also, you are apparently the only zombie with a still-functioning brain (given that you're the one giving RTS-style omnicommands to attack whatever's close, follow along, or hold position - of those, you'll basically use "follow" and "attack" exclusively) so if you die, the level's done. Any zombies you make otherwise are expendable.

You still have to shuttle them along like intelligent puppies or unintelligent children.

Interspersed in between are full-fledged "THIS IS A SNEAKING MISSION" stealth segments where the guys with guns shoot faster, can't be turned, and your goal is to just survive until the point you can land on a pesky scientist who is otherwise defenseless. Those are the worst.

I hate stealth games. I am fucking terrible at them, as stated. But as far as single-board stealth collections go, this one's pretty alright.

That's 51 down, and I have a very solid idea of what's coming next. It's the game that I've felt most compelled to actually clear, but least motivated to. So we'll see what happens.