turkeys

i'm stuck in a job that makes me nigh suicidal, just to support a daughter that doesn't even listen to a thing i say. helping me raise that daughter is a woman i love who seems to not think i can do anything right, who is currently taking care of her own father who is such an unrelenting douchebag that he seems to care more about money and cigarettes than his own family, and yet she insists we visit him for the holiday, one that i have stated quite clearly i hate to begin with.

we're in a hovel of a single hotel room, one that is infested both with a swarm of houseflies and various sorts of other insect, and every day is practically an unending fight against them.

i don't even have my health - i've been coughing my lungs up for the past two weeks, my nose is running like a kenyan, and i'm not looking to get better any time soon due to the squalid conditions we're in and the high level of stress around me at all times. a lot of the things i used to find joy in are just further sources of stress, and, hey, guess what? everyone has worse problems than me so i can't even talk to anybody about anything because at least my problems are stable as opposed to me suddenly dying or bursting into flames.

oh, and i'm about three hundred miles from any of my family. yes, that was a conscious choice, but it's still something that has an effect.

i don't have a single. goddamn. thing. to be thankful for. go to hell, thanksgiving.