mou shippai mou shippai / machigai sagashi ni owareba mata mawaru no

i don't know how much more i can take. i hit my breaking point tonight, and it's occurred to me that things are never going to get better. idiots and assholes will never stop wanting retardfood, and we'll keep getting slammed, and spirited little mexican bitches are going to get pissed off because i'm too fucking slow at doing everything. i don't have the energy for anything any more. no energy for rp, no energy for games, no energy to look for another job, not even any energy to post in my journal or really talk to friends online or anything any more. been talking to jess, and that's about it. i'm sick of it all. sick of the things i'm interested in being wastes of time, being 'wrong' when i'm supposed to kill myself in order for my daughter to whine and bitch about how daddy is always mean to her and how she never gets anything she wants.

but if i leave this job or get fired or take any other option short of letting the world shit on me, i'm wrong and i'm a bad person and a leech and a horrible father who should deserve to rot and die

even if this job is making me more violent and upset than i've been in a -long- time

oh, and i accidentally fucking washed my mp3 player so now it doesn't work, too

息を止めるの，今。