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I'm very sorry for this. But the power of plz compels me!
Okay! FIRST POINT OF ORDER.
Ladies and gentlemen, Dumb Bitch (you may remember me speaking of her in an earlier post) has done it again. Today at work, I got back the monthly trip newsletter, which is pretty much the only piece of literature I make for the city any more. Scribbled in the margins, in the appropriate place, is, "hotel room?"
NO, YOU DUMB WHORE. THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO LAS VEGAS FOR TWO NIGHTS AND WE WILL NOT LET THEM SLEEP. THEY WILL SLEEP IN THE STREETS OR ON THE BUS IF IT COMES TO THAT. NEVER MIND THAT THE TRIP IS ADVERTISING A SPECIFIC HOTEL/CASINO, AND THAT THERE ARE SEPERATE PRICES FOR SINGLE AND DOUBLE OCCUPANCY, WE WOULD NEVER THINK OF LETTING THEM HAVE A GODDAMN HOTEL ROOM.
...there. I needed to let that out. And if you took me seriously there, you should never breed.
Following that: thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
xyzzysqrl, I've got a new meme to post. Spread it to your friends, spread it on your toast!
Five movies I tend to reccomend to people who think like me, and also want to see a movie.
5. The Princess Bride: This one really needs no explanation. It was the tongue-in-cheek fantasy movie before tongue-in-cheek fantasy movies became commonplace. I grew up with this movie, and whoever hasn't seen it yet NEEDS to. The only complaint is that little BRAT Fred Savage would've ruined it if it weren't so damn good.
4. The Wizard: On the other hand, Fred Savage made THIS movie what it is. Okay. When people mention 'so campy it's funny', most people think of Bruce Campbell and how he's been immortalized in Army of Darkness. I, however, think of this. Not only was it all just an excuse to show off NES stuff and Super Mario Brothers 3, it was also camp on the level of the old Double Dragon movie. After all.. I LOVE THE POWER GLOVE. IT'S SO BAD!
3. Galaxy Quest: Okay. Obviously, I have a lot of comedy/parody here. It's just my taste. However, this is also significant for being the last movie I went to WITHOUT being dragged to, and actually enjoyed. I was dragged to Spiderman and the LotR movies, so those don't count, either.
2. The Running Man: ...This has Richard Dawson as a money-grubbing TV-show-host/executive in a shameless parody of quite possibly himself at the time, PLUS it is 99% likely to be the inspiration for Smash TV. Need I say more?
1. The Shawshank Redemption: The -only- dramatic film I have here. That should say something. They show this like eighty times a week on the local networks, but I STILL don't mind seeing it. Even the hugely-acclaimed Schindler's List doesn't hold a flame to this, in my eyes.
And then..
Five movies to recommend to someone that I hate and wish would die in a colorful conflagration of exploding brain:
5. Solaris: George Clooney stars as some idiot who does...something! You know, this is the only movie to ever induced mental barriers so that I wouldn't remember it. That's all I remember.
4. Reign of Fire: Movies with dragons are quite common. GOOD movies with dragons are quite rare. But this takes the cake - even Dungeons and Dragons gets some credit for being good as impromptu MST fodder, much like Mystery Men, but this... just... no.
3. The ENTIRE damn Matrix trilogy: Okay. I know this may seem like bandwagoning, but you know what? I didn't like a SINGLE DAMN ONE. Not the original, not Animatrix, not Enter the Matrix, not the sequels, NONE of it. And people snagged the WRONG DAMN SPECIAL EFFECT to wank over to the point of absurdity. Screw bullet-time, I'd rather see more things in the media with marble pillars that crumble and shatter with machine gun fire!
2. Dumb and Dumber: Accurately named. Yet, OMG, people love it. This gets bonus Satan Points (they're like brownie points but for evil) because one of my classmates in Beginning Drama in High School was in this movie - a billed role, and everything. Brady Bluhm, who others may remember as the more recent Winnie the Pooh Christopher Robin voice. Look for him in there. I'm sure I'm going to hell for being even THAT distantly related to this movie. It also personifies everything I hate about Jim Carrey, and natch, the movie industry in general nowadays.
1.Striptease: Demi Moore plays the ugliest stripper ever. My eyes, they still do not stop bleeding.
Ladies and gentlemen, Dumb Bitch (you may remember me speaking of her in an earlier post) has done it again. Today at work, I got back the monthly trip newsletter, which is pretty much the only piece of literature I make for the city any more. Scribbled in the margins, in the appropriate place, is, "hotel room?"
NO, YOU DUMB WHORE. THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO LAS VEGAS FOR TWO NIGHTS AND WE WILL NOT LET THEM SLEEP. THEY WILL SLEEP IN THE STREETS OR ON THE BUS IF IT COMES TO THAT. NEVER MIND THAT THE TRIP IS ADVERTISING A SPECIFIC HOTEL/CASINO, AND THAT THERE ARE SEPERATE PRICES FOR SINGLE AND DOUBLE OCCUPANCY, WE WOULD NEVER THINK OF LETTING THEM HAVE A GODDAMN HOTEL ROOM.
...there. I needed to let that out. And if you took me seriously there, you should never breed.
Following that: thanks to
xyzzysqrl, I've got a new meme to post. Spread it to your friends, spread it on your toast!Five movies I tend to reccomend to people who think like me, and also want to see a movie.
5. The Princess Bride: This one really needs no explanation. It was the tongue-in-cheek fantasy movie before tongue-in-cheek fantasy movies became commonplace. I grew up with this movie, and whoever hasn't seen it yet NEEDS to. The only complaint is that little BRAT Fred Savage would've ruined it if it weren't so damn good.
4. The Wizard: On the other hand, Fred Savage made THIS movie what it is. Okay. When people mention 'so campy it's funny', most people think of Bruce Campbell and how he's been immortalized in Army of Darkness. I, however, think of this. Not only was it all just an excuse to show off NES stuff and Super Mario Brothers 3, it was also camp on the level of the old Double Dragon movie. After all.. I LOVE THE POWER GLOVE. IT'S SO BAD!
3. Galaxy Quest: Okay. Obviously, I have a lot of comedy/parody here. It's just my taste. However, this is also significant for being the last movie I went to WITHOUT being dragged to, and actually enjoyed. I was dragged to Spiderman and the LotR movies, so those don't count, either.
2. The Running Man: ...This has Richard Dawson as a money-grubbing TV-show-host/executive in a shameless parody of quite possibly himself at the time, PLUS it is 99% likely to be the inspiration for Smash TV. Need I say more?
1. The Shawshank Redemption: The -only- dramatic film I have here. That should say something. They show this like eighty times a week on the local networks, but I STILL don't mind seeing it. Even the hugely-acclaimed Schindler's List doesn't hold a flame to this, in my eyes.
And then..
Five movies to recommend to someone that I hate and wish would die in a colorful conflagration of exploding brain:
5. Solaris: George Clooney stars as some idiot who does...something! You know, this is the only movie to ever induced mental barriers so that I wouldn't remember it. That's all I remember.
4. Reign of Fire: Movies with dragons are quite common. GOOD movies with dragons are quite rare. But this takes the cake - even Dungeons and Dragons gets some credit for being good as impromptu MST fodder, much like Mystery Men, but this... just... no.
3. The ENTIRE damn Matrix trilogy: Okay. I know this may seem like bandwagoning, but you know what? I didn't like a SINGLE DAMN ONE. Not the original, not Animatrix, not Enter the Matrix, not the sequels, NONE of it. And people snagged the WRONG DAMN SPECIAL EFFECT to wank over to the point of absurdity. Screw bullet-time, I'd rather see more things in the media with marble pillars that crumble and shatter with machine gun fire!
2. Dumb and Dumber: Accurately named. Yet, OMG, people love it. This gets bonus Satan Points (they're like brownie points but for evil) because one of my classmates in Beginning Drama in High School was in this movie - a billed role, and everything. Brady Bluhm, who others may remember as the more recent Winnie the Pooh Christopher Robin voice. Look for him in there. I'm sure I'm going to hell for being even THAT distantly related to this movie. It also personifies everything I hate about Jim Carrey, and natch, the movie industry in general nowadays.
1.Striptease: Demi Moore plays the ugliest stripper ever. My eyes, they still do not stop bleeding.
.