I wanted to apologize for how I acted to, well, just about everyone this last week. For those who don't know, my laptop charger broke so I was functionally left without a computer.

I did not take it well, and turned into a raging hosebeast.

This wasn't really just about the computer, not exactly... most of the folks who watch this journal know that I've got rapid-cycling Bipolar II, severe anxiety problems, and anger management issues. The crux there? I've been off my medication for more than a year. Now that I'm on SSI, I can get the assistance I need in order to get it again, but before a few weeks ago I wasn't able to. And.. you know... funny thing about depression: When you have it, you don't have the motivation to do what's needed to help the depression. It's like a muddy hole you can't QUITE crawl out of.

The tl;dr of this all is simple. Even as soon as last Sunday (when I first found out about the laptop problem) I said a bunch of things that I didn't quite mean, out of anger or panic.

I apologize to any and all I may have hurt in that time, and wanted to reassure you all that steps are being taken to try to prevent such panic attacks in the future.

Thank you for your time.

Here's how it stands.

While I do believe overheating is a huge problem with this compy (even a fan override cranking the in-case fan to max speed and a cooling pad beneath, the CPU never drops below roughly 37 degrees Celsius - that's 99 or so in Farenheit, and before the fan-override the heat can spike to the low-mid 70s - that's about 160 Farenheit) I am unsure if it is the ONLY problem.

See, computers operating at 40-50 degrees Celsius is, apparently, still technically in the "safe" zone. Yet I'm still getting intermittent lockups. Not every five minutes like what happened around 8 PM last night, but on average about once every two hours or so.

I've run Memtest86, so I know the memory is checking out OK... any other ideas as to potential problems?
swordianmaster: fluttershy looking especially creepy (TACOOOOS)
( Jan. 19th, 2012 08:45 pm)


Don't know why this is! Was it because I tried to install Avast? Was it because, as some weird on a message board somewhere speculated, the computer has an ISSUE with being hooked up to the power cord and the battery at the same time? Was it because it overheated? DID I GET A LEMON COMPUTER?


whyyyyyy. why does this shit keep happeniiiiing

It seems to be behaving again, but forever in the back of my mind I'm gonna ask myself: FOR HOW LONG.
swordianmaster: fjsal style mew (fjsal)
( Jan. 19th, 2012 03:18 pm)
GUESS WHO HAS A NEW (disclaimer: not actually new, perhaps a bit rickety) LAPTOP THAT IS ENTIRELY HIS.


For those interested, the nitty gritty:

Dell Latitude D610
30 GB HD (eww)
Win 7 Pro

The Wireless card isn't working (thank god for having a USB dongle) and the M on the keyboard is borked (thank god for having a USB keyboard) but other than that it is running great so far. Power cord feels a little loose, but charges without any problem whatsoever. Touchpad has a LOT of wear, but was looking at getting a USB mouse anyway. (USB OVERLOAD AGHAHGHG)

Runs a little hot, but this week's DIS should show if that's a major problem or not.

I AM BACK, MOFOS. Thank you, [personal profile] opalinesque.
The port is busted on Amy's laptop - I tried to open it up and half of the port literally FELL OUT. Not only did it get desoldered, but it also got smashed to shit when the father-in-law fucking dropped it (a fact I was NOT MADE AWARE OF until EARLIER TODAY). Best Buy estimates that it'd be $150+ to repair if it WASN'T soldered to the mobo, but if it was attached to the mobo, the comp is totalled. (I couldn't open the laptop enough to see - it's not as easy as a computer is, darn it!)

The plus side there is that the HD and RAM are both perfectly fine, meaning the computer is perfectly viable for scavenging if Amy so desires it.

Likewise, the 60mb that I got from my friend is fine, but the Desktop's mobo is unmistakably fried.

I spent the last $10 of [livejournal.com profile] schrodikitten's gift money to get my bike tire fixed, and am now on a library computer for the moment. It's not a solution for RP, but at least I don't want to shove my head through a plate glass window now. God DAMN, fighting with a 3DS is a royal bitch.

Also, for those interested in helping out [personal profile] opalinesque to search for a cheap replacement, she has offered to help me out. Feel free to use this post to discuss things, I'll keep an eye on things from my remaining home link, though I might not reply too well.
swordianmaster: dragon maleficent gettin' stab (wicked)
( Jan. 10th, 2012 11:14 am)
(If anyone wants the proper status update, it's here.)

Once upon a time, there was an artist.

He wasn't a famous artist, or even successful. Some people claimed to enjoy his work, but there was no chance he would be remembered past his own generation. That didn't much matter, as he was content doing something he loved, and was on his way to being truly happy.

Then, one day, vandals came and ruined his art, his canvases, and his tools. He lost it all.

"A minor problem," he said to himself after his temper had subsided. "I can start anew. After all, the creation is the part I enjoy the most."

He continued for a time... and then a tragic fire took his studio, as well as the use of his hands, which had been mangled beyond repair as he tried to escape with his life.

He was visibly shaken, and admitted to a clinic by those who loved him. Eventually, he started to recover. "After all, I have people who love me dearly; they provide me inspiration." He continued to work, improvising to make up for his shortcomings. All was well for a brief time.

Soon, however, came the debtors. Unable to pay, they took instead his tongue and one leg. Those who tried to help were pushed away... but not before they, too, had their money taken.

Knowing that those that cared for him loved to see his smile, he could not give in to despair, no matter how much he desired to. He could hardly speak, however, and watched as more and more of his friends became unable to cope with the bleakness of his situation. He could communicate, out of sheer desperation, but it was incredibly painful and simply made the losses more obvious to all.

One day, the man stared in the mirror and thought, "I apologize for the sins of all of the world, as I have clearly been sentenced to Hell."

The mirror gave no reply.
swordianmaster: frustrated neku (gfherghnrfgh)
( Jan. 10th, 2012 11:05 am)
Worst case scenarios.

As far as my computer (the desktop), it's about 95% certain that the entire problem is the motherboard. The 'new' HDD I was given doesn't spin up when it's connected to the IDE cable, but does otherwise. Connections are fine, which means either spontaneous cable failure or fucked mobo.

As far as Amy's comp (the laptop), it's a problem with the DC port somehow. 75%/25% chance, I'd say, of it being the port vs the charger cable.

So, yeah. both comps are pretty much DOA. I'd need a miracle right now.
I'm typing this on my daughter's 3DS. Remember how I was on a loaner laptop?

The charger is somehow fried and until it can be fixed, I'm totally computerless.

I really wish this seven year streak of bad "luck" would just end...
So, it's about this time of year that friends of mine start posting their Amazon wishlists for people to give gifts if they want. I've done that a few years in a row, too.

This time, though, I'm just going to list, in descending order of priority, the things I wish I could have for Christmas.

  • The money to pay off our outstanding utility bills. We make enough to get by, but since we got screwjobbed by Verizon, we end up just sinking further and further into debt. We're currently sitting at about $500 owed, give or take, between Verizon and our electric company.

  • A replacement computer and/or DS. The computer is all but dead-on-arrival and I don't know if I'll ever get it fixed, and the DS is basically on its last legs - broken hinges, top screen that has to be held just right or it loses signal, dead pixels on the touch screen, the works..

  • Paid time and/or icon space for my RP journals. Because sometimes, dammit, I just wanna RP. :|

  • Anything else. Seriously, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth; if anyone wants to give me something, I could care less if it was something I actually wanted, I could find a use for anything. Plus, the thought that counts and everything.

To those whom I wanted to send holiday cards to (up to and including the people who helped me out a few months ago when the problems with Verizon first STARTED) I regret to say that such probably isn't an option this year. As it is, we're basically begging and pleading just to keep everything here at home stable.

I dunno. It kinda just makes me feel better to write this, to know that people can see it even if they don't want to/can't afford to do anything for me. Like I've actually asked, as opposed to just bottling it out of fear of being selfish.
swordianmaster: frustrated neku (noise)
( Nov. 27th, 2011 05:45 am)





swordianmaster: daxter peering from bottom right. is it safe? (Is it safe?)
( Nov. 26th, 2011 04:45 pm)
Well. Finally got an actual COMPUTER.

It only took me a month.

Thanks go out where they deserve to go - I know Amy will probably never read it (she's part of the Facebook crowd, which I am decidedly NOT part of) but thanks to the awesome bloke who sent the replacement HDD. It's a little smaller, a bit slower, and that noisy thing seriously makes me paranoid that it's going to spontaneously combust, but the computer is running and that's a hell of a lot better than the past month.

Now to get used to being at a desktop instead of being able to drag the internets wherever I damn well please again. Ah well.

Firefox is retarded, it thinks 'combust' is not a real word.

...now to figure out a way to pay the outstanding balances we owe on utility bills... urgh.
swordianmaster: fluttershy looking especially creepy (it's always the quiet ones)
( Oct. 24th, 2011 06:05 pm)
Well, we've been lent a laptop from Ariana's godmother Amy, but she 1) needs it for school eventually and 2) it's crasheriffic - freezes when browsing are frequent, albeit temporary.

It's better than nothing, but it's only a temporary stopgap measure, so I'm not going to say no if help is being offered, as has been in the previous thread.

In all seriousness, it stuns me how many genuinely good people there are out on the internet, especially considering how atrocious the everyday offline joe is. I honestly expected a bunch of "sorry, can't help you", but what I got was sincere attempts to help - while I may or may not be able to use what is offered, depending on what you guys have, the fact that you're willing to OFFER in the first place is just... well, awe-inspiring.

I love all of you. Even the ones that haven't said anything, or haven't had a chance to, yet.
it all started with a crc error on a torrent I was running.

Things snowballed, as they tend to on computers, and now it appears that my hard-drive is completely, irreversibly, 100% fubar'd. There might be more wrong. I don't know. It's a six-year-old computer, and I can't afford to get any replacement... well... anything.

I'm typing this from a public library computer; a computer which will only allow me one hour of usage per day. But at the same time, I don't know what else to do. Part of this is to let people know that I'm not going to be around for obvious reasons (my LJ RP hiatus notices will point here), and part of this is to do... well, the only thing I'm good at any more. Whining about how life keeps shitting on me, and begging for a reprieve somehow.

Money isn't going to help. Not really. Even if it did, I already pretty much exhausted what resources I have online to keep my net/phone/tv bill from defaulting.

I have... I would assume no credit, just because if I don't have NO credit, I'm sure to have NEGATIVE - the bills are in my name, after all, I have unpaid medical bills that went to creditors, and Paypal defaulted me on an $80 I can't pay or dispute.

I really have no way of getting out of this situation. If anyone can lend a hand with a computer of some sort, please... please, let me know.

Out of respect for my family, I'm gonna put any contact information under a F-Lock in the next post; if you sincerely are able to help, either reply here (so I can contact you when I am able) or ask one of my friends for help (I know for a fact [livejournal.com profile] bossgoji will at least be aware of this, and I'm sure there's others)

I'm sorry I have to keep doing this. I wish I knew why everything was just piling on me in the last two years.
i don't know how much more i can take. i hit my breaking point tonight, and it's occurred to me that things are never going to get better. idiots and assholes will never stop wanting retardfood, and we'll keep getting slammed, and spirited little mexican bitches are going to get pissed off because i'm too fucking slow at doing everything. i don't have the energy for anything any more. no energy for rp, no energy for games, no energy to look for another job, not even any energy to post in my journal or really talk to friends online or anything any more. been talking to jess, and that's about it. i'm sick of it all. sick of the things i'm interested in being wastes of time, being 'wrong' when i'm supposed to kill myself in order for my daughter to whine and bitch about how daddy is always mean to her and how she never gets anything she wants.

but if i leave this job or get fired or take any other option short of letting the world shit on me, i'm wrong and i'm a bad person and a leech and a horrible father who should deserve to rot and die

even if this job is making me more violent and upset than i've been in a -long- time

oh, and i accidentally fucking washed my mp3 player so now it doesn't work, too

swordianmaster: beyond description. hurrrrr (HURRRRRRRRR)
( May. 5th, 2010 11:01 am)
Well! Computer is at least running, and not as lag ridden.

Unfortunately, corrupted files are still high in count, and I can't play Diablo 2. :sad:
So! My computer is officially 90% fucked; I'm getting bad clusters, things aren't loading or are crashing, the thing literally hangs for about a minute intermittently AS I'M TYPING. The fan on the power source is, I think, kaput, too, as the power source is running hot.

I can't afford a new computer, and nobody on my friends list is well-off enough or generous enough to DONATE one. Man, why the fuck.

I have an interesting situation here, but I dunno what to do regarding it.

Does anyone have any need/desire for the second disc and only the second disc of the PSX version of Star Ocean: The Second Story? I have technically the whole game, but the first disc looks like this:

...sooooo... yeah. I can't bring myself to toss it, but at the same time, nobody wants half a game.

Do I have any takers?

(Unrelatedly, [livejournal.com profile] pembrokewkorgi, do you need Crystalis for the NES? I have a spare copy here...)
...I hate Earthlink.

First? We called on the 19th. They said the modem would come in 3-5 business days.

On the 29th, it still hadn't showed. My mother called them up, and we were told that it had not been shipped out. We were assured that, in compensation, they would ship it overnight delivery, free of charge.

ON THE 31ST, IT STILL HADN'T SHOWED. My mother calls again, turns out they shipped it - ground transit. FROM INDIA, PROBABLY. Newest ETA? The 7th. How much you wanna bet it won't show up THEN, either?

Happy fucking new year.

no internet and no internet make swordie fucking annoyed
no internet and no internet make swordie fucking annoyed
no internet and no internet make swordie fucking annoyed
...Well. At approximately 6:15 pm Pacific Standard Time yesterday night, the power went out for the entire city block.

It came on no more than three hours later, but by that point, the damage was already done. Despite being on a surge protector, something about the blackout - either the surge going out or the surge coming back on - fried my DSL modem. I am now completely without internet at home until Earthlink ships a new one.

Their claim is 3-5 business days?

Except one needs to realize that a business day is non-weekend, non-holiday. Christmas is this week, New Year's is next week.

I'll be lucky to have it by the time the year rolls over.

So aside from hijacking work's net connection, I'm completely interwebless until then. Just so you guys, y'know... don't freak out and worry about me.
swordianmaster: beyond description. hurrrrr (HURRRRRRRRR)
( Sep. 21st, 2007 12:46 pm)

typically a bad sign when you do a full hard drive erase, system restore......

and the virus is still there.

Isn't it?


swordianmaster: the crudest drawing of a sword imaginable (Default)
i am a sord lol


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