So, it's about this time of year that friends of mine start posting their Amazon wishlists for people to give gifts if they want. I've done that a few years in a row, too.

This time, though, I'm just going to list, in descending order of priority, the things I wish I could have for Christmas.

  • The money to pay off our outstanding utility bills. We make enough to get by, but since we got screwjobbed by Verizon, we end up just sinking further and further into debt. We're currently sitting at about $500 owed, give or take, between Verizon and our electric company.

  • A replacement computer and/or DS. The computer is all but dead-on-arrival and I don't know if I'll ever get it fixed, and the DS is basically on its last legs - broken hinges, top screen that has to be held just right or it loses signal, dead pixels on the touch screen, the works..

  • Paid time and/or icon space for my RP journals. Because sometimes, dammit, I just wanna RP. :|

  • Anything else. Seriously, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth; if anyone wants to give me something, I could care less if it was something I actually wanted, I could find a use for anything. Plus, the thought that counts and everything.


To those whom I wanted to send holiday cards to (up to and including the people who helped me out a few months ago when the problems with Verizon first STARTED) I regret to say that such probably isn't an option this year. As it is, we're basically begging and pleading just to keep everything here at home stable.

I dunno. It kinda just makes me feel better to write this, to know that people can see it even if they don't want to/can't afford to do anything for me. Like I've actually asked, as opposed to just bottling it out of fear of being selfish.
Copypastaing AIM log. I'm not going to write this again.

(8:50:59 PM) Bahamut725: Let me paint you the scenario. We have very little food - we're down to ramen, pretty much, and that's -it- - and DeAnna's check, clearing at midnight... is exactly enough to keep our bills paid. Verizon wants $213, we're getting $215 because of whatever state milking her for child support.
(8:51:45 PM) Bahamut725: I get woken up, five minutes ago, to DeAnna arguing with her father because "I'm hungry. I need cigarettes. And Pepsi."
(8:51:50 PM) Bahamut725: Like a petulant five year old.
(8:52:20 PM) Bahamut725: Getting whiny and pissy because we weren't able to go to a PAWN SHOP today to try to get money. With things we don;t have available to pawn. On a Sunday, when pawn shops are closed.
(8:53:09 PM) [livejournal.com profile] bossgoji: (because clearly, throwing away your actual worthwhile possessions to get cigarettes is a smart decision)
(8:53:10 PM) Bahamut725: And I know the minute that DeAnna gets her paycheck, she is going to let this man walk all over her, because she thinks a corporation will be more lenient and understanding than him.
(8:54:04 PM) Bahamut725: In his world?
(8:54:15 PM) Bahamut725: Cigarettes > his needs > everything else in existance
(8:54:32 PM) [livejournal.com profile] bossgoji: Such is the way of an addict.
(8:54:41 PM) Bahamut725: If we had to murder someone, or rob a bank? His reply would be "about fuckin' time".
(8:55:10 PM) [livejournal.com profile] bossgoji: Nothing really matters to them except their next fix, honestly. I've seen it way too often, so believe me, sympathy is there.
(8:55:38 PM) Bahamut725: He's an addict who is currently OUR SOURCE OF INCOME, though.
(8:55:50 PM) Bahamut725: So any intervention is going to invariably shoot us in the foot.
(8:56:06 PM) Bahamut725: (As opposed to the more longterm of the foot slowly rotting off and dying.)

Long story short: we have no food, barely enough money to get food IF we manage to somehow beg Verizon for every bit of lenience they can give - hahahahahhahah funny joke - and my father-in-law is begging us to throw shit away on cigarettes and Pepsi.

only reason i haven't started shooting people is because i don't have a gun, jfc.
i give up. i can't fucking take this shit any more. i can't take life just deciding it's AOK to pile MORE bullshit onto me.

just so everyone knows, chances are... pretty fucking good that I'm going to completely lose net access sometime Thursday. Dunno when I'll get it back.

So... sorry. To people who like me. Or depend on me ha ha ha ha what am I saying.
fuck you, Verizon. Fuck you, and not allowing even partial payments to the $291 you insist we owe you.

Not gonna ask for money again; Western Union makes that far more of a clusterfuck than I want anyone to go through, and more importantly, I'm sick of owing people. In addition, the ability to pay it is, currently - a big unknown. I don't KNOW if we're getting help to pay it or not, and I don't want to ask people to help if we don't need it because GOD FUCKING DAMN, ANY FUCKING MONEY THAT IS UNACCOUNTED FOR JUST GOES TO SHOVELING CIGARETTES DOWN MY FUCKING FATHER-IN-LAW'S GULLET.

I'm sick of this. I really am. There's a small pile of pocket change sitting right in front of the computer, nice and stacked up, and I know for a fact that someone's being passive-aggressive and expecting me to go out and buy cigarettes with it. And I know if I don't, someone else will. Except, everyone here knows that, being how I am, that will just make me feel GUILTIER because I'm more capable. And so, in my refusal, I'm making others strain themselves. Including a fifty-five year old who can barely WALK twenty feet, much less the 500 meters or so it is to the local gas station.

I know for a fact that he will violently oppose change on this stance, considering his, well, forceful outbursts and the fact that his view on his smoking habit is "It's my body, if I want to kill it, so be it", his shortsighted nature meaning he doesn't give two and a half shits about anybody but himself (if he did, he'd actually consider SAVING SOME OF HIS SSI CHECK FOR BILLS instead of squandering it on goddamn FAST FOOD CRAVINGS) and, again, if you tell him no, he'll either lash out at you or force himself to do it - one way or another, to defy him is to have SOMEBODY get hurt.

I'm fucking SICK of this.
swordianmaster: (gfherghnrfgh)
»

Guh

( Sep. 21st, 2011 07:36 am)
So. Remember how I said "crisis averted"? Well, it still is, don't get me wrong.

But that happiness died off REAL QUICK. I'll simplify my tasks and DeAnna's into a single lump itinerary as she's the one who usually deals with bureaucratic bullshit; it's her specialty being a lawyer, but either way, here's a rundown of what happened in my day after that point:

  • Have father-in-law head to doctor to get prescription painkillers. Find out that transportation has taken too long to show up, and then proceeds to DROP HIM OFF, and then proceed to wait FOUR HOURS for him to get home from a THIRTY MINUTE excursion due to Medicare Transport fuckery.
  • Get continually harassed by whom I believe is a freaking addict who previously knew father-in-law, wants to buy said painkillers off of him.
  • After fath-in-law gets home (at about 2:45p, remember this time), call Verizon to pay off outstanding balance. Find out that next month's bill will be $50 MORE and will continue to be that much. Fight constantly with them in order to figure out exactly WHAT these extra charges are coming from, find out that they're from things that we were told were not fee-based (replacing faulty equipment), things we did not intend to sign up for but did anyway due to misplaced button presses (for some reason, they thought we wanted the Cinemax bundle, wtf), things that we thought we needed but no longer do (second phone line, the most understandable thing there).
  • Proceed to yell and scream and curse at Verizon to get the problem fixed. Finally, it's resolved... at 4:15p. Sigh, pull out hair for being on the phone for an hour and a half, try to get online to actually PAY bill since somehow that whole thing got tangled up in so much bullshit.
  • Scream.
  • Find out that the online billpay won't let us PAY bills for some braindead reason. (Turns out later that we needed to clear our cookies, HRRRRRR.) Call Verizon and waste ANOTHER half hour.
  • Thank whatever deities exist that we're finally done with Verizon.
  • Realize we need to get groceries. Get on bike with oppressively standard-sized backpack, bike to store. Make two trips due to backpacks really not being designed to be used in grocery delivery. Curse the fact that society expects ALL CARS, ALL THE TIME.
  • Do best to not get run over despite the fact that brakes on bike do not work and motorists think you're an OBSTACLE instead of a LIVING BEING.
  • Come home, forget about actually eating, crash at first possible opportunity for almost twelve hours.


So... yes. So much rage. Enough so that I'm going to be setting up a few new tags to quantify my hate.

Those of you familiar with Touhou and/or Japanese folklore might recognize Kaguya-hime's five impossible tasks. Well, I've got my own set.

Impossible Request #1: Deal with Verizon Customer Support
Impossible Request #2: Work at Jack In The Box (Renamed from the old "Jack in the Bfish" tag, and will not so much be used now that I have left that shithole)
Impossible Request #3: Raise Children (renamed from "Children are Demons" tag)
Impossible Request #4: Survive Texas Roads and Motorists
Impossible Request #5: Endure Texas summer heat

Kaguya would be proud. I'm just livid.
swordianmaster: (fjsal)
( Sep. 20th, 2011 09:41 am)
I cannot thank you guys enough - you know who you are.

It's been taken care of by some folks who - in at least one case - wish to remain anonymous. I will oblige those wishes.

CRISIS AVERTED, EVERYONE

RETURN TO YOUR HOMES

([livejournal.com profile] bossgoji, even if you weren't able to give anything on your own, it was your spreading of the word that got this resolved as quick as it was. I owe you. Big.)
Okay, the situation is a bit more dire than I was aware. It appears that, for whatever reason, Verizon has been giving us the screwjob end of the stick, we haven't gotten our monthly for SEVERAL months, and we had to fight an uphill battle for them to even turn the phone/net/TV back on for a WEEK until we pay our past-due balance. Our past due balance is about $100 $80 $60 more than we actually have. If we do not pay the amount they're asking in full by Friday, we get it all turned off.

Now, the TV I personally could live without. However, it's a bundle package, and I need the 'net to continue looking for jobs, and FAR MORE IMPORTANTLY, DeAnna needs the phone in order to clock in every day and get HER paycheck, period.

As of such, this is rather important.

Now, I can't ask any single person for help on this, and... yes, I already noted that me and Paypal are sadly not on speaking terms. However, if it's possible for ANY of my friends to spare something through Western Union - Even $10, even $20 - I'd be greatly appreciative. I can't promise you'll see the money back quickly, but I'll remember those who have helped out here, and I'll do... something to make up for it. I don't know how, or when, but I will do what I can.

If you're willing and able to help, contact me through replies here, on AIM at Bahamut725, or, well, wherever you actually know me from.

Thanks in advance, and I'm sorry that it had to come to this.
swordianmaster: (rolling girl)
( Sep. 16th, 2011 06:28 am)
quick bulleted list

  • finances are for the moment taken care of; clothes are washed, cats are fed, bills are... paid as best they can be.
  • the situation on DeAnna's dad continues to worry me; apparently the newest status that I've heard is "three blocked arteries" and as of yesterday he was in the ICU. Considering the precarious situation we're in, this is not Good Things.
  • Still not finding any jobs because I don't like associating with slime, I guess. How the fuck is 8 years experience "Entry Level", you lying sacks of shit? Fuck online job-search sites.



  • Doing the best I can to cope with frustration and feelings of powerlessness via LJRP, Picross 3D, and ponies.
  • just a little under 25 hours left, fff.
(7:12:24 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: I feel like everything's falling apart. Again.
(7:13:28 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: I'm still unemployed, my father-in-law - who, through the fact he gets SSI and the fact that DeAnna is on payroll as HIS CARETAKER, is our only source of income - is in the hospital getting abnormal CAT readings and with blood being found in his stomach
(7:13:59 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: Even WITH the money we're bringing in, it's going to be a small miracle if we can manage to pay electric and phone bills both this month
(7:14:44 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: We're gonna run out of food stamp money about two weeks before we get more - AS USUAL, we haven't had the chance to do laundry for over a month
(7:14:50 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: The cats have no fresh litter, no food - we've been feeding them bargain bin luncheon meat
(7:15:07 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: DeAnna's to the point where HER addiction is starting to put a strain on everything...
(7:15:21 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: Things were supposed to get better.
(7:15:23 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: This is not better.
(7:15:50 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: And I can't help but feel like the world is trying to pile the guilt onto me because I don't have any way of making money.
(7:16:20 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: What am I supposed to do? Resort to theft? Start killing people? Whoring myself out? (Hah, as if /that/ would work)
(7:16:54 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: I'm already basically a goddamn drug runner, enabling my fath-in-law to sell off his prescription meds just so we can GET BY.
(7:18:02 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: And the worst part is, /I'm/ not even the one getting the worst of the pressure, meaning I get to just sit and uselessly watch as this basically makes DeAnna fall apart.

(7:19:42 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: if we had any sort of safety net here i'd suggest that [[livejournal.com profile] bossgoji] come over this way should things go wrong with DeAnna's dad
(7:19:43 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: but
(7:19:45 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: we don't
(7:19:51 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: meaning if his body gives up on him
(7:19:59 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: that's it
(7:20:01 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: there's nothing else
(7:20:09 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: nothing to fall back on
(7:21:59 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: I just wish I knew what to do.
(7:22:13 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: It's real easy to say "you need to get a job", but... even if I did look harder than I have been
(7:22:19 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: Even if I got a job tomorrow
(7:22:40 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: bills are due in exactly one week, I don't know exactly how much we have that we're able to pay
(7:22:46 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: we may not have ANY money at ALL

(7:27:23 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: All the bridges are burned anyway. Both me and DeAnna have frozen paypal accounts because we owe them individually at least $100 each
(7:27:47 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: the reason we may not have ANY money is because both of us are individually in debt to Chase at least that much
(7:28:01 PM) [livejournal.com profile] swordianmaster: To say nothing of the child support that keeps getting leeched from DeAnna
.

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i am a sord lol

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