For all the Derpygates and the clop pics and the cupcakes

you get things like PONIES The Anthology, and BOTH abridged serieses.

(You're a toymaker's creation/trapped inside a crystal ball♪)

Anyway, faith in the pony fandom: MINORLY restored. Rock on, vidmakers.
I wanted to apologize for how I acted to, well, just about everyone this last week. For those who don't know, my laptop charger broke so I was functionally left without a computer.

I did not take it well, and turned into a raging hosebeast.

This wasn't really just about the computer, not exactly... most of the folks who watch this journal know that I've got rapid-cycling Bipolar II, severe anxiety problems, and anger management issues. The crux there? I've been off my medication for more than a year. Now that I'm on SSI, I can get the assistance I need in order to get it again, but before a few weeks ago I wasn't able to. And.. you know... funny thing about depression: When you have it, you don't have the motivation to do what's needed to help the depression. It's like a muddy hole you can't QUITE crawl out of.

The tl;dr of this all is simple. Even as soon as last Sunday (when I first found out about the laptop problem) I said a bunch of things that I didn't quite mean, out of anger or panic.

I apologize to any and all I may have hurt in that time, and wanted to reassure you all that steps are being taken to try to prevent such panic attacks in the future.

Thank you for your time.
(6:16:09 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Anyway, going back to our original point, you're right. S2 has lost a LOT of internal continuity.
(6:17:33 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Especially when it comes to Rainbow Dash, who seems to bounce back and forth between popularity-obsessed pseudojock to slightly tomboyish coolkid.
(6:17:53 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Sometimes multiple times in an episode.
(6:19:22 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: The CMC stuff has gone from being endearing to forced - I understand needing a younger perspective, but "maybe we'll get our cutie marks!" is basically a pony-based way of saying "We're doing this because the plot says we have to!"
(6:22:27 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Pinkie has remained consistent insofar that she operates almost solely on Rule Of Funny, even when she's more serious, but what HASN'T remained consistent is that others - particularly Twilight - are starting to edge in on her territory, be it intentionally (the CMCs in the VDay ep) or unintentionally (Twilight's antics in Lesson Zero and It's About Time, which are painfully Genre Blind to a point Twilight never is otherwise)
(6:22:52 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Hence my "the show is cartoonier now" claim.
(6:24:50 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: The Flim Flam ep was a high point, Read It and Weep has introduced my favorite one-shot secondary character even if it was basically a blatant expy, and Hurricane Fluttershy is probably one of the most /relatable/ narratives about its subject matter I've ever seen
(6:25:18 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: But past those three? Yeah, S2 is as a whole mostly weaker than S1, ESPECIALLY if you take the Discord eps as technically part of S1 like some claim they were meant to be.
my little persona
i used to wonder what shadows could be
until you all said "no, this isn't me!"

I am a psycho. )

DeAnna and Amy just left for Austin, to audition for X-Factor. (Rather, Amy is auditioning, DeAnna is moral support). This has me worried for several reasons.

One, they're basically grazing a tornado; we're getting the southern bands here, and it's not gonna clear up before they reach Austin.

Two, even if everything goes without a hitch, they'll be gone until late Thursday/early Friday.

For the rest of the week, I am the sole person taking care of my daughter and keeping an eye on my father-in-law.

I am scared shitless.

EDIT: Just to clear things up, as comments were already made:
(9:40:40 PM) bahamut725: I'm not holding this against DeAnna
(9:41:12 PM) bahamut725: if one of my friends had basically nobody else believing they could make anything of themselves
(9:41:17 PM) bahamut725: I'd be there for them no matter what, too
(9:41:22 PM) bahamut725: and this was discussed. At length.
(9:41:37 PM) bahamut725: Doesn't make the reality of it any less terrifying.
So. I guess I've started a crossover fic. I'm going to fandom hell, hoorj.

I tried my best to mimic the writing style of Curiosities of Lotus Asia here, though I'm pretty sure I failed spectacularly.

Don't bother with the C&C; I already know this is horrible and it's mostly something I'm putting to text to get it out of my head.

Prologue )
father in law is getting increasingly abusive, his addiction to painkillers is getting further and further out of control, and it may hit the point where we have to tell him to go fuck himself, even though he's pretty much the only reason we can still get bills paid

so, uh
hooray potential homelessness

But, oh hey! Let's look at the bright side! I have an interview Friday! For a full-time job that would pretty much systematically ruin the rest of my free time, make it so that I pretty much never see my daughter again (It's 3 PM-Midnight, and my daughter doesn't get home from school until about 3:15p)... and did I mention it was full-time when even a 20 hour job was enough to make me explosively violent and ruin any sort of connections I have with any of my friends, as well as enough to give me suicidal tendencies?
swordianmaster: (LOL POKEMANS)
( Mar. 4th, 2012 12:28 pm)
devil survivor 2 has come out for the ds

and there's a fan project started to translate shining force feather

i'm just gonna be over here making squee noises
So. Those of you who listen to me talk about Touhou music are probably well-aware of the love/hate relationship I have with IOSYS, arguably the largest (and certainly one of the most productive) Touhou dojin-circles out there. I have a small number of songs I absolutely adore by them, a large number I hate, and then a few outliers that I either hate lyrically but love musically (Convictor Yamaxanadu) or hate altogether but CAN'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD (Marisa etc. etc Precious Thing, FOE).

Well, I snagged a few albums in order to get some songs I do like (Convictor Yamaxanadu, Border of Death) and in listening to the other songs on said albums, I've come to a realization about why.

I love IOSYS when they're being serious. Technically, they're superb; they've got a good grasp of musical theory, how to properly 'construct' a song. A few of the vocalists they use have fantastic voices - 3L, the vocalist for Border of Death, stands as the shining example of them knowing exactly how to pick a voice to suit a song.

The problem is, IOSYS isn't serious any more. Their niche has been found, and it's in joke-vocals. Marisa Stole The Precious Thing was, thanks to its disgustingly earwormy qualities, was their first break-out hit; and after that, more and more of their songs/lyrics became jokey and less pleasant. The fact that their MAIN vocalist, miko, is like a chipmunk on acid, just adds to that factor.

I'm never quite sure if IOSYS makes the characterizations and the rest of the fandom picks up on it, or the other way around - I'm pretty sure Boob Envy!Shikieiki was around before Convictor Yamaxanadu, but I have no way of knowing if Marisa Stole etc. was the origin of Failice. It sure SEEMS that way, though, considering the song is basically one giant handbook on How To Poorly Bastardize Alice Margatroid, with a bonus chapter on Oontz Oontz.

That said, Touhou Otome Bayashi, their second album (aka the album that introduced Marisa/Thing) is really an example of how damn good they are. Out of four vocal tracks, they hit a 50/50 ratio (Marisa Stole is an obvious case of suck, and Keine's Drawing Song is probably the most painful vocals I've ever heard on a Plain Asia mix ever, but Border of Death is fantastic and Special Ability to Sneak Out etc. actually sounds like it would fit in nicely with a Katamari soundtrack, to its benefit) but then you realize that it's a twelve-track album - there's seven and a half tracks there (Mainly to Manipulate The Floor has typical techno vocals that don't really have any focus, think Daft Punkish) that show off their strengths with nonvocal stuff.

If you're the type to go for Touhou albums, give it a try sometime; it's a very hit-and-miss album, but the hits more than make up for the misses. Just don't expect later IOSYS albums to be your thing unless you really like Marisa Stole The Precious Thing.
swordianmaster: (it's always the quiet ones)
( Feb. 10th, 2012 12:54 am)
people whose opinions i sincerely care about: 5, maybe 6
number of those people who are offline relationships: 2
number of people who will see my blog posts without me blatantly linking them: 1 if i'm disgustingly lucky

number of friends/contacts on LJ/DW: 9 on DW, 72 on LJ
number of those friends who i trust and feel i can talk to at any time: 2

so frustrate.
So. Those who don't follow ponies, feel free to disregard this.

For those who aren't caught up to recent episodes, the latest episode had Derpy Hooves - actually referred to in-script as 'Derpy', at that - have spoken dialogue.

I have heard now more than one person arguing that the slightly dim, low-voiced mare is "mocking people with developmental disorders", such as Downs Syndrome.

Because nobody can be different without being a victim. And because learning disabilities are TOTALLY symptomized by being fucking wall-eyed. And Tabitha St. Germain confused her for a male, has admitted such, and patterned her after a sleepy - but perfectly healthy - boy, the son of a neighbor.

But, well. I'll just repost what I said on AIM at this point.

(3:37:15 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: ...
(3:37:23 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Seriously, what?
(3:37:25 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Fuck.
(3:37:36 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: The what, by the way, not towards the trivia
(3:37:44 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: but towards the fact that people are getting upset about that.
(3:37:51 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Some women HAVE deeper, lower voices!
(3:37:58 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Hell, my mom's one of them!


(3:39:52 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: But yeah.
(3:40:11 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: It's a dumb argument and... heh. If I wanted to be a total troll, it'd be a self-defeating argument too.
(3:40:20 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: Because all you need to say to win that one?
(3:40:41 PM) [personal profile] swordianmaster: "Sometimes you don't need a developmental disability to be completely fucking retarded. QED."

Here's how it stands.

While I do believe overheating is a huge problem with this compy (even a fan override cranking the in-case fan to max speed and a cooling pad beneath, the CPU never drops below roughly 37 degrees Celsius - that's 99 or so in Farenheit, and before the fan-override the heat can spike to the low-mid 70s - that's about 160 Farenheit) I am unsure if it is the ONLY problem.

See, computers operating at 40-50 degrees Celsius is, apparently, still technically in the "safe" zone. Yet I'm still getting intermittent lockups. Not every five minutes like what happened around 8 PM last night, but on average about once every two hours or so.

I've run Memtest86, so I know the memory is checking out OK... any other ideas as to potential problems?
swordianmaster: (TACOOOOS)
( Jan. 19th, 2012 08:45 pm)


Don't know why this is! Was it because I tried to install Avast? Was it because, as some weird on a message board somewhere speculated, the computer has an ISSUE with being hooked up to the power cord and the battery at the same time? Was it because it overheated? DID I GET A LEMON COMPUTER?


whyyyyyy. why does this shit keep happeniiiiing

It seems to be behaving again, but forever in the back of my mind I'm gonna ask myself: FOR HOW LONG.
swordianmaster: (fjsal)
( Jan. 19th, 2012 03:18 pm)
GUESS WHO HAS A NEW (disclaimer: not actually new, perhaps a bit rickety) LAPTOP THAT IS ENTIRELY HIS.


For those interested, the nitty gritty:

Dell Latitude D610
30 GB HD (eww)
Win 7 Pro

The Wireless card isn't working (thank god for having a USB dongle) and the M on the keyboard is borked (thank god for having a USB keyboard) but other than that it is running great so far. Power cord feels a little loose, but charges without any problem whatsoever. Touchpad has a LOT of wear, but was looking at getting a USB mouse anyway. (USB OVERLOAD AGHAHGHG)

Runs a little hot, but this week's DIS should show if that's a major problem or not.

I AM BACK, MOFOS. Thank you, [personal profile] opalinesque.
"There's plenty of ways for life to screw you over there, too."

hahahahahahaha FUCK YOU, [personal profile] baxil.

my world is pain )
Disclaimer: I am not mad at you for realsies, Bax. But aaaaaaaauuuuuuggghhh my life.
The port is busted on Amy's laptop - I tried to open it up and half of the port literally FELL OUT. Not only did it get desoldered, but it also got smashed to shit when the father-in-law fucking dropped it (a fact I was NOT MADE AWARE OF until EARLIER TODAY). Best Buy estimates that it'd be $150+ to repair if it WASN'T soldered to the mobo, but if it was attached to the mobo, the comp is totalled. (I couldn't open the laptop enough to see - it's not as easy as a computer is, darn it!)

The plus side there is that the HD and RAM are both perfectly fine, meaning the computer is perfectly viable for scavenging if Amy so desires it.

Likewise, the 60mb that I got from my friend is fine, but the Desktop's mobo is unmistakably fried.

I spent the last $10 of [ profile] schrodikitten's gift money to get my bike tire fixed, and am now on a library computer for the moment. It's not a solution for RP, but at least I don't want to shove my head through a plate glass window now. God DAMN, fighting with a 3DS is a royal bitch.

Also, for those interested in helping out [personal profile] opalinesque to search for a cheap replacement, she has offered to help me out. Feel free to use this post to discuss things, I'll keep an eye on things from my remaining home link, though I might not reply too well.
swordianmaster: (wicked)
( Jan. 10th, 2012 11:14 am)
(If anyone wants the proper status update, it's here.)

Once upon a time, there was an artist.

He wasn't a famous artist, or even successful. Some people claimed to enjoy his work, but there was no chance he would be remembered past his own generation. That didn't much matter, as he was content doing something he loved, and was on his way to being truly happy.

Then, one day, vandals came and ruined his art, his canvases, and his tools. He lost it all.

"A minor problem," he said to himself after his temper had subsided. "I can start anew. After all, the creation is the part I enjoy the most."

He continued for a time... and then a tragic fire took his studio, as well as the use of his hands, which had been mangled beyond repair as he tried to escape with his life.

He was visibly shaken, and admitted to a clinic by those who loved him. Eventually, he started to recover. "After all, I have people who love me dearly; they provide me inspiration." He continued to work, improvising to make up for his shortcomings. All was well for a brief time.

Soon, however, came the debtors. Unable to pay, they took instead his tongue and one leg. Those who tried to help were pushed away... but not before they, too, had their money taken.

Knowing that those that cared for him loved to see his smile, he could not give in to despair, no matter how much he desired to. He could hardly speak, however, and watched as more and more of his friends became unable to cope with the bleakness of his situation. He could communicate, out of sheer desperation, but it was incredibly painful and simply made the losses more obvious to all.

One day, the man stared in the mirror and thought, "I apologize for the sins of all of the world, as I have clearly been sentenced to Hell."

The mirror gave no reply.
swordianmaster: (gfherghnrfgh)
( Jan. 10th, 2012 11:05 am)
Worst case scenarios.

As far as my computer (the desktop), it's about 95% certain that the entire problem is the motherboard. The 'new' HDD I was given doesn't spin up when it's connected to the IDE cable, but does otherwise. Connections are fine, which means either spontaneous cable failure or fucked mobo.

As far as Amy's comp (the laptop), it's a problem with the DC port somehow. 75%/25% chance, I'd say, of it being the port vs the charger cable.

So, yeah. both comps are pretty much DOA. I'd need a miracle right now.
I'm typing this on my daughter's 3DS. Remember how I was on a loaner laptop?

The charger is somehow fried and until it can be fixed, I'm totally computerless.

I really wish this seven year streak of bad "luck" would just end...


swordianmaster: (Default)
i am a sord lol


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